


I am nothing of a builder

by risinggreatness



Series: Circle 'round the sun [49]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-29
Updated: 2014-11-29
Packaged: 2018-02-27 10:52:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2690144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/risinggreatness/pseuds/risinggreatness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ahsoka doubts her ability to help Luke and Leia rebuild the Jedi Order (not EU compliant)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I am nothing of a builder

Though they have embraced her, Ahsoka is used to being on her own. She breaks away from the group.

Beyond the hangar bay, the wind blows, rustling the leaves of the trees; water droplets fall to the ground in irregular intervals. Ahsoka breathes in the post-rain air. Despite the muggy heat, it is refreshing, just as it is reassuring to feel her master’s presence at her back once more.

She anticipates what he will say, but he does not get the chance. His presence evaporates into the humid air as Luke steps through his father’s ghost.

He stops beside her, crossing his arms in an Anakin-like fashion, and Ahsoka tenses. Vader stood like that – just before he attacked her. But Luke is not Vader. Nor is he Anakin, no matter how many similarities she sees.

Turning toward her, “You must have known him pretty well.”

“Not as well as I thought I did.”

Luke’s shoulders sink. There is still something of a child who reveres their father above all others. He knows the hard truth; it doesn’t stop him from wanting to know who was hidden behind the mask – the man he saved.

Then, curiously, “You mentioned before that you were his apprentice.”

Nodding, “During the Clone Wars, the Council assigned me to be his padawan learner. We were often on the frontlines.

“I was twelve,” it comes as an afterthought, spoken more to herself than to Luke.

“By those standards I was _way_ too old to begin my training.”

It occurs to Ahsoka, whatever training the Hero of Yavin has, it is not traditional. Corners were cut, rules were bent, and tenets were set aside is order to achieve the destruction of the Sith.

“Training started long before one was a padawan. Most Jedi were removed from their homes and their families very early on. Self-sacrifice was the cost of being a Jedi; it started young.”

A cloud passes over Luke’s face.

Concerned, “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know anything about the Order. Obi-Wan and Yoda never spoke about it.”

Bitterly Ahsoka thinks, _probably for the best. It failed in the end._ Out loud she says, “It was more important they teach you the nature of the Force. Knowing Council protocol wouldn’t have done you any good against Palpatine.”

“No, I guess it wouldn’t. Still, I thought, maybe I should reinstate it – give the Force a place in the galaxy again.”

“Even if you could, then what? There aren’t enough Jedi left to hold an order together.”

“It doesn’t hurt to try.” Echoes of his parents ring in his determination. “Its reformation has already begun. You came to me; you can teach me what Yoda and Obi-Wan didn’t. You can help me teach Leia and find others. There doesn’t need to be many of us.”

The Order was her life, the Jedi her friends and family, Anakin and Obi-Wan most of all; she should want them back. Instead, the notion only makes Ahsoka wary. She is no master and if it was the will of the Force to put an end to the Order, who is she to act or say otherwise?

\----------

With the blessings of her masters, Ahsoka leaves the Temple with a lighter heart. Her troubles are eased by their assurances.

She trails behind and considers what Luke wants to do more thoroughly. There is a way to bring the Order back; it doesn’t have to be the way it was.

Change the tenets; serve all; be a source of good in the galaxy.

( _A_ new _order._ )

“We’re approaching this from the wrong direction. Simply reinstating the Order isn’t the right path. We need to rebuild it, change its foundation.”

Luke and Leia listen intently as Ahsoka explains her reservations. Though she may never come to terms with their persecution, the Force dismantled the Jedi Order for a reason. She didn’t understand until now: love and attachment are not a hindrance, they are a strength.

It is what protected Luke and Leia. It is what saved Anakin.

“It’s so much more to take on; rewriting and establishing a code, as well as finding and training students,” Leia voices what concerns all of them.

“As long as we are repairing the Senate, why not repair the Code too?”

Rebuilding the Order and the Republic at the same time seems like an impossible undertaking, but one Ahsoka is confident must be done.

Luke places a hand on his sister’s shoulder, “Focus on your training and the Republic. Let us worry about the Jedi Order.”

Leia agrees, squeezing her brother’s hand, before leaving the two Jedi to begin their task.

\----------

Lando negotiates with Karrde, acting as a representative of the New Republic and its initiative to abolish slavery.

Taking down the Hutts was as easy as cutting off the head of a battle droid and that’s essentially what they did. Killing the gangster ( _and a fair portion of his entourage_ ) effectively ended the slave trade in the Outer Rim. Slavery still exists in those systems, but its practice dwindles.

Zygerria is another problem; under the twenty-five year reign of the Empire, the Zygerrian slave markets thrived. Cut off its head and another, more ruthless, will take its place. Ahsoka has seen it happen before.

If that wasn’t enough of a reason to accompany the smugglers, her curiosity is.

Ahsoka stares unabashedly at Karrde’s lieutenant: Jade leans against the wall of the ship, arms crossed and glowering.

 _Luke was right about her Force-sensitivity_ , Ahsoka mentally notes. _If his guess about her past is right, that explains the scowl._

And, just as Luke predicted, Jade’s eyes fall, almost enviously, on Ahsoka’s lightsaber.

Karrde’s booming voice breaks Ahsoka’s concentration ( _Jade’s too_ ), “You’re out of your minds if you think you’re going to tear down Atai Molec’s empire with a handful of smuggling vessels?”

“This is just the first phase of the operation, Talon. We’re not asking you to organize a frontal assault on the system,” Lando clarifies. “We need intel: security, weapons, ports; information the Republic can’t access.”

“You’re seriously overextending your legal boundaries,” Karrde kicks back and puts his feet on the table.

Lando looks frustrated.

The pursuit of the slave trade has been a matter of contention within the Senate for some time. The Republic has the right to abolish slavery in its territories, but Zygerria is not one of them. The fact is doing this proves the New Republic _is_ overreaching.

“So much for the regime change.”

It is said with amusement and is not meant accusingly ( _Karrde’s work is the same under any rule_ ), but Lando’s lip twitches.

Surprising everyone, even herself, Ahsoka speaks up, “We aren’t asking under the New Republic’s jurisdiction, this is a request from the New Jedi Order.”

Lando turns, bewildered.

Jade’s eyebrows shoot upward.

It’s such a simple solution to the Republic’s dilemma, but they never considered it. Who would? The New Order is in its fledgling stages of existence, led by two unconventionally trained Jedi and has yet to find its place in the galaxy, though Ahsoka may have just committed it to its first stand.

Karrde lets out a bark of laughter and, putting his feet back on the ground, says, “You’re asking quite a bit for an organization that, if memory serves, works for the Senate.”

Ahsoka shakes her head, “Not the New Order. We serve the whole galaxy, not just select parts.”

“If independent information gathering is phase one, what’s phase two?”

“Garner military aide from both Republican and Separatist systems.”

Skeptically, “You think any Separatists will help Jedi?”

Smiling slyly, “I have friends on both sides.”

He points at her, but speaks to Lando, “I like her.” And directing his attention back to Ahsoka, “You’ve got a deal. Tell Skywalker: that’s two he owes me.”

They are taken back to _Lady Luck_. Lando climbs through the hatch connecting it to _Wild Karrde_ first. Ahsoka is stopped before she can follow.

“You have the authority to usurp Organa’s pet project?”

Jade gives her a hard stare. Ahsoka stares back.

It’s no secret Leia’s taken up Bail Organa’s crusade. It is at her urging the New Republic is trying to rid the galaxy of slavery, but this has nothing to do with whose ‘project’ it is.

“It’s not any one person’s responsibility,” Ahsoka replies and pushes past Jade.

She gets about halfway through the passage then turns back, “Leia trusts me. You should try it sometime; it makes life a hell of a lot easier.”

\----------

“Do you think it will work?”

Saw is incredulous. But then again, so is she.

The meeting with Karrde took an unexpected turn when Ahsoka spoke up. The plan to dismantle the Zygerrian Slaver’s Guild remains the same, but with new leadership and, if Saw agrees, more military support.

“I think the Senate will breathe easier knowing they’re not about to have another war on their hands.”

The general sips at his whiskey, “And what does Organa have to say about all this?”

“I haven’t told her yet, but I contacted the _Falcon_ after Lando dropped me off. She’ll know when she gets here.”

Tensions between Separatist and Republic have lessened, but Saw and Leia still prefer to have Ahsoka mediate, lest they get carried away by their bluntness.

Her comm link pings; the _Falcon_ is making its approach. Quickly she finishes off her drink and heads out to the landing bay.

Leia and Han part ways at the base of the gangplank. Even from a distance, she can hear Han reminding Leia he loves her and Leia’s teasing response. Leia joins Ahsoka and they watch the _Falcon_ take flight.

“So what’s this news you couldn’t tell Chewie?”

Ahsoka breathes deep, “The Order is taking the lead on Zygerria and other slaver systems from now on.”

Leia’s brow knits and her presence muddles.

“In theory, I agree with you, but the Order doesn’t have enough resources. I’ve barely begun my training; you and Luke are already so busy flying all across the galaxy to find others to train and rewriting the Code.”

“The Jedi have always had a way with stretching themselves thin,” Ahsoka allows, but she senses a deeper concern. She waits for Leia to voice it.

“If the Republic has no authority to free the slaves of the galaxy, what gives the Jedi that right?”

Sighing, “Nothing… everything… the Force.”

“What if it looks to the galaxy like another Sith takeover?”

“Then let it. When we’ve finished and slavery no longer exists they’ll see it’s not. This is the New Order’s first chance to prove itself, and I think we should take it.”

Leia smiles nods, “Okay. I’ll make an appeal to the Senate to support the Order when we return to Coruscant.”

It is a shared common purpose of the small Jedi Order. Both women know what it is to live in chains; even though their experiences were short-lived, they left a mark. Ahsoka felt the sting of a slaver’s laser whip and Leia was made the sexual desire of a vile gangster. Luke may have never personally felt the lash, but he grew up in the shadow of the Hutt palace and knows his family history.

If there is a better – more important – issue which they should devote their efforts to Ahsoka doesn’t know it.

\----------

The emancipation movement takes shape between training with Luke and Leia and trips to discover the Force-sensitive.

Ahsoka, because of her connections and tenure as a commander, organizes Republic and Separatist recruitment, consulting heavily with Saw and Admiral Ackbar. Luke deals with the independent shippers; Karrde acting as their chief smuggler contact.

Progress is slow, yet steady. The arrangement works.

On occasion, Ahsoka accompanies Luke aboard _Wild Karrde_. It is the captain who treats with them, but his lieutenant is never far from the proceedings.

Regardless of what Luke says, Jade’s behavior appears unchanged. She eyes them suspiciously, keeping herself tightly closed off. Whatever grudging rapport Luke thinks he’s formed with Jade, Ahsoka doesn’t think it extends to her.

“She likes you better than she likes me,” he says when they’ve retreated to their quarters.

“How’d you figure that?”

“You didn’t ‘kill the emperor.’”

Ahsoka shrugs unconvinced, then curiously, “Are you positive you want her trained?”

“Yes. Mara deserves a chance as much as any of us. We’ve scoured the galaxy and come up empty again and again. She’s here and she wants to train, I can feel it.”

She could do without the earnest conviction in Luke’s face and tone.

“But she won’t have you.” Answering Luke’s puzzled look, “Leia told me you don’t think she’ll agree to train with you.”

“There’s a slight possibility, but I’m not optimistic.”

Ahsoka swallows. She is content to let Luke teach Leia; she need only step in when Luke is away and then, only blade exercises.

( _The Force isn’t done testing her._ )

“I’ll do it. _If_ you are able to convince her, I’ll train Jade.”

Luke smirks as though he was issued a challenge he could easily beat – as though he is Anakin.

She had been a challenge for him. She wonders if he grinned like that to the Council when they assigned him a twelve-year old girl to take as his padawan or if he was as nervous as she is.

This is one challenge Ahsoka will not run into headfirst.

\----------

Mara snaps, “Is this all you’re going to teach me?”

Ahsoka could feel her apprentice’s patience wearing thin as they mediated, but there was nothing she could do to prevent it. ( _This was a long time coming._ )

“For now.”

Mara’s eyes narrow, standing suddenly to pace.

She knows it’s frustrating; it took Ahsoka a while to get the hang of it as a child and relearning the practice hadn’t been any easier. She imagines Mara’s temperament doesn’t help at all.

“In good time, Mara.”

Mara responds with a low growl. As she paces she fingers the borrowed lightsaber ( _Leia’s this time_ ).

Ahsoka closes her eyes again. Mara can stay or go as she pleases.

The door slides open and Mara’s footsteps disappear down the hall.

“You’re showing her more tolerance than I would have – than I did.”

Looking up, “You taught me.”

Anakin laughs, “I wasn’t exactly alone.”

Ahsoka lets out a long breath and looks away. She took them for granted, Obi-Wan in particular. Their teaching often seemed incidental to their companionship; they let her get away with far more than they should have.

“I still don’t know how you did it.”

“You were easy to teach. Besides, I didn’t have to teach you the hard stuff. You were assigned to me capable and ready for more.”

“I wish I could say the same for her.”

“She will be, but she needs a chance. We all need a chance… and someone to give it to us.”

Anakin looks about the room. Wondrously, “This is where we met.”

His recognition makes her eye water. She had been so unsure that day. She’s so unsure now.

Her voice breaks, “I don’t know if I can do this.”

As if it is Anakin’s response, the door reopens and Mara steps through. She takes a seat beside Ahsoka. ( _“Yes you can,” whispers the wind. “You’ve already begun.”_ )

Closing her eyes, Mara breathes in.

Encouraged, Ahsoka blinks back her tears, “That’s enough mediation for today.” She takes the hilt off of Mara’s belt and holds it out to her, “Take up your lightsaber.”

Mara reaches out an eager hand and Ahsoka tsks, “Take it with the Force.”

**Author's Note:**

> See author bio for discussion on this 'verse.


End file.
